"Lost Cause"

This post is part of a series: Part I, “Kashmir,” Part II, “Iris,” Part III, “Tesselate,” and Part IV, “Lost Cause, “ Part V, “Undisclosed Desires,” and Part VI, “There’s Never Enough Time.”

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Pierre is sitting in his bed, it’s been 100 Original Earth Years (OEYs.) He no longer sleeps and has been giving up on the idea of ever getting home. The room he’s in is covered in green vines, plants, and flowers as that’s the only thing that grows on his current Earth. 

Pierre: (making up a tune, semi-delusional) “There’s too many people you used to know.” Did it get you anywhere to know any of those people. You see me coming, you see me go…

(breaks the pattern) That’s not quite right… no…. 

(singing again) “They see you coming they see you go” and no matter what you do “they know your secrets.” 

(Thinking, he gets up and moves to his desk) 

Do I know anyone’s secrets? I don’t even remember half of what I should about living with other people. This is so frustrating being alone. My hologram colleagues haven’t been in contact for over 18 months… my time. Something about their funding ran out and they had to cease all communication. I’m still here! Who is going to help me??? The clock that I built works. That was progress. Haven’t seen a lot of that since.

Essentially “this town,” no, this world that I landed on “is crazy” and “nobody cares.” Well there is nobody to care.

Real Earth me would have wanted a girlfriend by 2 OEYs. There are a lot of things I don’t need besides companionship. Sleep or actual food. Am I still me? ‘Cause “baby [I’m] lost.” Maybe really, “baby [I’m] a lost cause.” What a pep talk. This shit is hard.

“I’m tired of fighting.” For a long time I was so gung ho on getting out of here, but what am I going to do if I’m really immortal on this Earth replicate. And don’t worry, I’ve tried all the ways to get myself out of here. Really got creative about a year ago. Like I said, “i’m tired of fighting” when all it means is that I’m “fighting for a lost cause.”

When I was on Real Earth I knew “there’s a place where [I was] going.” Somewhere I “ain’t never been before.” Look where that got me. That feels like an eternity ago. That probably was an eternity. 

There’s “no one left to watch [my] back now.” I’ll never have anyone “standing at [my] door.” 

God damn it this sucks.

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