"Photograph"

Jan is working with a few students in a lunch and learn setting. She’s just finished presenting and is now taking questions from her group. They are sitting at desks that are in a hemisphere shape. Her topic for this class is networking.

Jan: So, did that make sense?

Student 1: I think so. The idea is to be more open and ask for what you want. That’s what I got out of today, but it’s easier said than done.

Jan: It depends on your personality. The point of today’s session is that “if you want it, you can have it.” You have to ask. You have to be brave. You have to say what you want.

Student 2: And if you don’t know what you want?

Jan: That’s an entirely different session.

Student 2: I always feel lost when I’m figuring out what I want. There’s so much in the world I want to do.

Jan: You’re not the only one and that doesn’t change as you grow older. Once you have maybe two ideas of what you want “you’ve got to reach out there and grab it.” People like to help. You tell them you need something, most will think of ways they can help you.

Student 1: Why is that?

Jan: I think it’s simply “‘cause everybody wants some love” and before you all start giggling, love is more about attention and need to help. How would you feel if someone randomly emailed you, with a clear reason they were reaching out?

Student 3: I think I would help them if I could. Most of the time I don’t feel like I can be useful to anyone though.

Jan: We should break that down.

Student 3: Okay.

Student 2: Why is it tough for you to believe you’re useful?

Student 3: I know a lot of stuff, but like what do I share with people? It feels like I’m “shooting from the stars” and nothing sticks. How do I know what to contribute?

Jan: It will depend on the conversation and the context. Not everyone will care about everything you are, but if you can figure out what they need. Give them that, show them that you’re knowledgeable, or have relevant information. You won’t feel as “though [your] heart will break” as your fear subsides.

Student 3: I’ll give that a try. It’s going to be tough.

Student 2: If it helps I have a horror story. Last year, I met with someone and it went really badly. At the end of the coffee chat they yelled at me for taking up their time and being ungrateful. There were a few other choice words mixed in.

Jan: What did you talk about?

Student 2: I asked them for advice about breaking in to the industry they were in. “There’s more that I could take” from them, but after an hour I told them it was time to go.

Student 1: Instead of saying that you were trying to be respectful of their time?

Student 2: Yeah. I just got up and started to leave. “I could never” communicate properly then. They thought I was leaving because I “[got] enough” information. That’s when the yelling started. It was bad.There may have been tears!

Student 3: Good luck with your meeting this week. Sounds like “you need it.”

Jan: Well that’s a good learning experience. It’s always good to be polite. Ask if they need to wrap up because you’re grateful for the time and know they’re busy. “You should show” you’re empathetic.

Student 1: But also have a personality. If you’re too professional and stiff “you might play so monastic that you blow it.” That wouldn’t be good either.

Jan: That is true too. This has been an insightful conversation. Do you three have your marching orders for a couple weeks from now? I want us to come together and talk about how our networking went before starting the topic of personal branding.

Student 1: No questions from me.

Student 2, Student 3: Sounds good!

The music and video above is owned by the artists and their record labels, as applicable.