"Monster Mash"

The scene takes place in the living room of a mansion. Many monsters are milling around and those mentioned in the scene should be staged in their groupings. Overall, “the scene [is] rockin', all [are] digging the sounds.”

Boris: Did you hear about the newest dance craze? It’s the hippest thing the monsters have come up with since I came up with the monsters. They “[do] the monster mash” and “it [is] a graveyard smash.” I know about it because I set up this fabulous party with everyone. If you look back there against the wall you see my Igor, over there is Dracula and his son in their open coffins, talking by the punch bowls are the zombies, Wolf Man, and other vampires. Dracula looks down on them. The only ones I can’t find right now are the ghouls.

Dracula: (from inside his coffin) Boris, you got anymore of this blood? The only punch bowl I can drink from is empty again.

Boris: (to Dracula) I’ll have to check in the freezer. We may need to defrost more. (to Audience) That’s the third bowl in 2 hours and there is another set of “coffin-bangers...about to arrive” along “with their vocal group, ‘The Crypt-Kicker Five’." Here they are, walking through the door. Those monsters are the talk of the town. I can’t wait for them to show up, but there are two guests here who may be a little less inclined (points in the direction of Dracula and son.)

From “out of his coffin, Drac’s voice [rings]. Seems he was troubled by just one thing. He [opens] the lid and [shakes] his fist

Dracula: I need the blood, it’s good stuff you got this time and (yelling) “‘Whatever happened to my Transylvania twist?’”

Boris: (to Dracula) It’s fine. Give it a few, the band is setting up and I’ll have them play the Transylvania twist first. (to himself) That would be a great drink too. Maybe for next year.

Band starts playing the Transylvania twist.

Boris: (to Audience) I told them to play it five times throughout the night because of how demanding Dracula can be. So “now everything’s cool” and Dracula will get out of his coffin to be “part of the band.” This whole evening is going better than expected. If I don’t say so myself, “my monster mash is the hit of the land.”

Boris looks around, admiring his creations. He looks back at the audience and addresses them.

Boris: You know you’re invited too, “the living, this mash was meant” for too. You’ll know you’re here when you get to the haunted looking house that I really mean is simply a mansion. “When you get to my door, tell them Boris sent you.”

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